I was playing in a basketball game and I was playing terribly and I got frustrated to the point of tears.

I’d just had a bad meeting at work and then I became angry and lashed out at one of my best friends.

Even just this morning, as I was driving my mum to work, a driver refused to drive on their side of the road and I got pissed off and said “just f*ck off!”

I was playing in a basketball game and I was playing terribly. It happens.

I’d just had a bad meeting at work. It happens.

A driver refusing to drive on their side of the road. It happens.

I can’t control those things.

Of course I can make sure I’m taking good shots and playing hard and being a leader. But sometimes the shots just don’t go in.

Of course I can prepare for the meeting. But sometimes it might go a way I never expected.

Of course I can make sure I’m driving safely. But sometimes other people will make me adjust in a way I never thought I’d have to.

Playing terribly was the first problem. But getting frustrated to the point of tears about it? That was the second problem.

Having a bad meeting was the first problem. But getting angry about it and lashing out at one of my best friends? That was the second problem.

Someone refusing to drive on their side of the road was the first problem. But me getting pissed off at them and telling them to f*ck off? That was the second problem.

Which problems are in my control?

The second problems.

The problems that I caused.

Playing terribly doesn’t mean I have to get frustrated.

A bad meeting doesn’t mean I have to get angry.

Someone refusing to drive on their side of the road doesn’t mean I have to get pissed off.

I turned one problem into two problems.

Life has enough problems that I have no control over without me creating double the amount. @Matt_Hearnden (Click to Tweet!)

Yes, I was playing terribly. But what would’ve happened if I hadn’t got frustrated and cried, and instead understood that I needed to relax more and keep playing as hard as I could?

Yes, I had a bad meeting. But what would’ve happened if I’d chosen to take myself somewhere quiet and write down what I’d learned from it, instead of taking my own anger out on someone else who didn’t deserve it?

Yes, someone refused to drive on their side of the road. But what would’ve happened if I’d laughed about it, and let it go, instead of feeling pissed off at someone who has no idea I even exist?

I’ll tell you what would’ve happened.

I would’ve solved the problem instead of creating a second one.

What unnecessary problems do you create for yourself?

Matt Hearnden is a writer from the UK. He mostly tells stories only he can tell. He blogs twice a week at www.matthearnden.com just self-published his first book:42. Matt writes every day because he loves it and because it stops him watching Netflix. And, probably more importantly, he plays basketball and has lots of tattoos. You can find him on Twitter, IG & Quora.

Image by Israel Sundseth.