In February 1988, I began a life-changing journey by putting down my bottle of wine and extra large bag of potato chips. After being obese my whole life, I realized I had to take the reins if I wanted to live to see thirty.
Over the next year, I released 100 pounds for life, and over the next twenty years or so, I learned to actually love myself, from the inside out. And I didn’t do it alone. In fact, there is no way I could have done it alone. I had what I call my “dream team:” a supportive group of friends and professionals who helped me every step of the way (and still do!).
My tribe has morphed and transformed through the years. It has included, among others: Overeaters and Alcoholics Anonymous, family, friends, therapists, and many coaches and mentors. My dream team represents a core of safety for me, and they have all been crucial to my healing. They have helped me determine my values and stay on a path towards my goals. They have cheered me on as I finished my first 5K, visited me when I had two knee surgeries, and spoke up when they saw that I was making a choice I might later regret.
We are by nature social animals. We can be happier and more successful if we can first recognize the benefit of support and then receive instead of resist it.
There is no one combination of support that is right for everyone. Quite the contrary—the beauty is that you get to create it however you need it. Chances are, you already have some dream team players in your life!
List the people in your life right now whom you consider your Dream Team.
For each person, describe the ways in which he/she supports you. These could be relatives, friends, co-workers, or professionals (such as doctors or mentors).
- _______________________________________
- _______________________________________
- _______________________________________
- _______________________________________
- _______________________________________
Know that these five are here for you, and offer your support in return.
It’s also totally normal for you to feel like something’s missing from this Dream Team roster. Maybe you crave a friend who shares your love of chess or really wish you could find a community of others who are struggling with an issue you also face. If so, add to your dream team from the options below:
1. Look into some formal support groups.
This option is very good for those of you struggling with a certain trauma or addiction. These include 12-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Food Addicts in Recovery. This could also be a weekly meeting for those caring for a sick parent or working through depression. I often hear people use money as an excuse when it comes to finding support and a dream team. However, in reality, there is endless free support out there. Once the student is really ready, the teachers/mentors/team will appear.
2. Find a professional.
A good therapist or coach can help literally anyone. He/she will help you pinpoint your goals and help you develop steps toward achieving them. He/she will also help you understand how to truly hear and help yourself. We could all use that!
3. Join a class or activity club.
Looking for a hiking buddy or fellow knitting enthusiast? Little clubs and gatherings are everywhere! I love meetup.com, where you’ll find groups across the country, meeting for everything from speaking French to playing board games. Another great way to meet people with similar interests is to take a class. Many community centers and schools/universities offer a chance to make new friends and acquire new skills.
Recognize and utilize your Dream Team for support, confidence, and love. With my Dream Team at my back, I know I can face any hurdle because I know that, no matter the outcome, they will be there with advice or a hug. And included in my fiftieth (yes I am proud to say those numbers out loud) birthday celebration on July 6 will be many members of my dream team. Instead of them celebrating me, I want my celebration to be about me celebrating them for supporting me through this beautiful tapestry called LIFE.
Weight Release & Body Image Coach, Laura Fenamore, is on a mission to guide women around the world to love what they see in the mirror—one pinky at a time—so they can unlock the secrets to a healthy weight and start loving their lives as soon as possible. Having overcome her own battle with addiction, obesity, and eating disorders, Laura released over one hundred pounds twenty-four years ago, beginning her on a journey to guide other women to live more joyous, balanced lives. Laura believes that self-love and self-care is where the transformation begins. Learn more about Laura at OnePinky.com and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
*Photo Credit: greekadman via Compfight cc
