Gentleness as a High-Performance Tool. Really.

Situations:

The auditorium is full of paying guests. I need to be wise, witty, and not trip in my heels.
I’m being interviewed by a celeb-figure who I adore and respect. How do I stay present and not turn into a goofy tangle of truthbombs?
I’m meeting a hot man for our first date and there’s been a long, chatty lead-up. I want to flow.

How do I prepare?

I speak to my Inner Child, of course.

What I used to do is get all PUMPED UP. Tell myself encouraging things. I’d talk directly to grown-up Danielle about how capable and clear-minded I am. And how “I got this!” And then… ta-da! I’d head out. It was a lot of adrenaline on top of a lot of adrenaline. And that will get the job done, for sure. But, it will also exhaust you. That pump up stuff, at least for me, is not who I am and it didn’t serve me as well as what I do now…

GETTING INTO A HIGHER PERFORMANCE ZONE

I move my body. Yoga, dance, a run. Breathing practices. I do this purely for me—nothing performative about it. I do it to be present and vibrant. It’s what I do most days, but on pressure occasions, it’s crucial. Limbering up in nature is most ideal.
I have a conversation with my Inner Child. It goes like this…

I ask Little Danielle what she needs. It’s usually something about being cozy, or “I love friends,” or “fresh air is happiness,” or just about having FUN. That simple.

[Note: my Inner Child rarely expresses fear about what’s happening in real-time. I’ve done enough healing that, at this point, she knows I’ll take care of her. This is a lifelong journey, of course. I still have plenty of fears and cautions to dissolve.]

I then make a promise to her/myself to ENJOY the hotel I’m staying in. Or to HAVE FUN with my event/my meeting/the romance. JUST.HAVE.FUN. Or to connect with my dear friends, and not stay out too late with people who aren’t yet awesome friends. I will not get into energy-sucking situations and, at the same time, I’ll keep my heart open and… HAVE FUN.

After the promises for care are made, I move into full-on self-parenting mode:

I tell my Deep Sensitivity that I have got this handled. My sensitive self can relax because my dynamic nature is fully in charge. Little D does not have to build my business, be articulate, engage with the media, or do the romantic dance. That’s my job. And I like it.

God’s got me covered.
I’ve got my Inner Child.
Out we go.

Here’s the thing, if you take care of your most tender and essential needs—you’re stabilized. If you protect your gentle nature, listen to its powerful cues—you’re good to go.

Adrenaline runs best within a healthy system. Self compassion and care create excellent performance conditions.

You could have a bad day, not get the results you wanted. But if you’ve been applying self love in advance, especially to your most vulnerable areas, you’ll know how to better recover: have more fun, be cozy, hang with friends.

With Love,

Danielle

Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.