I met a woman at a party. She was drinking red wine and just as she was taking another sip I told her a joke.

She laughed so hard she spit all over me.

She was horrified. She shouted, “Oh my god!”

I had red wine all over my white button down shirt. I tried to look nice for the party (impossible for me, but I tried) so I wore a nice shirt. Now I had a red stain all down the shirt.

She kept apologizing and I kept saying it was fine because I kind of liked her.

But she left me and I kept hearing her tell stories all over the party about how she accidentally spit wine all over me.

I eventually left because I was a mess and I couldn’t tell if people were laughing at me or with me.

I told her a joke and she couldn’t control her laugh so she spit all over me.

I changed the rules. There was no polite listening. There was no orderly conversation of “what do you do?” “what’s next?” “do you like your job?”

No small talk. No tiny talk. No nano talk.

Ever since then I knew what I wanted to do with my life.

I wanted to entertain people.


James Altucher is the author of the bestselling book Choose Yourself, editor at The Altucher Report and host of the popular podcast, The James Altucher Show, which takes you beyond business and entrepreneurship by exploring what it means to be human and achieve well-being in a world that is increasingly complicated. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.


Image courtesy of Kampus Production.