Yes, people around you might tell you otherwise. “No, breaking down is not the answer to your worries!”

But trust me, it is the best way to stop worrying. It might even help you solve your problem. Ironically, I learned how this is the best technique when I started practicing positive psychology.

But isn’t positive psychology about looking on the brighter side of life?

Well yes and no.

Yes, because it aims to examine and make use of the positive institutions of emotions, thoughts, and experiences like how I try to focus on happiness, gratitude, kindness, love, and resilience.

No, because just because I am having an optimistic perspective, does not mean that I should deny myself of the feelings of pain and suffering.

“It is like not letting myself be consumed but instead recognizing the negative aspects of life but also learning to focus on the hopeful facets of a certain problem or situation.”

Worrying is our mental reaction to uncertainties and the likelihood of having undesirable consequences, it is like the fear of being in-between of ambiguity and possibility. I remember the great anxiety after my first job interview back then; I was not sure if I did well and if they’d hire me. It was the same feeling I had recently when I was about to have my surgery for my appendicitis, I was in so much pain and I’m not sure if I just came right in time in the hospital, or if it has already burst. I was in distress of being in Schrodinger-cat-like-situations.

So I started to break down and boy it was the best decision I ever made in such a stressful circumstance.

Best Way to Break Down

Now when I teach you about this, promise me that you will apply it to yourself and share it with others. Well, how is it then that I applied positive psychology here? Well first, I affirmed to myself that I made a good call to bring myself to the hospital, I made a mental note that I should thank my friend again later for driving me, I acknowledged myself that I was in so much pain right now and worrying is normal, then I started breaking down.

I was crying, of course, the supposed localized ache felt like it was spreading. I would have submitted myself to panic but instead I started to dissect the situation I am in. I suddenly decided to apply what I have learned.

By recognizing the fact that the anguish I am feeling is a product of an inflamed internal part of my body, I was able to realize that I can’t do anything about the pain, and the surgery, nurses, and doctors are only the ones that could help it subside.

I started thinking about what I could do for myself, I let myself be in tears and mentally pat my back for being mindful of the pain that was present for days since it was a vital symptom that should not be dismissed but can also be easily overlooked. A thought came about being behind my work, but I considered that what I am doing for myself now is an act of self-love and that what’s happening at the moment would pass soon. Instead of letting worry overwhelm me, I looked at the brighter side and broke down that big feeling of anxiety into specific parts that I could resolve and of which I could dig for hope.

I did not deny myself of feeling and succumbing to the discomfort because the pain was beyond what I could do. I decided that I will focus on the gratitude for my friend, the hope that comes after the surgery, the kindness and love that I showed myself by being vigilant and mindful of my body. It was the best thought process I did in such a stressful condition.

Encourage breaking down instead of worrying

Days after and everything was resolved, it was amazing when I realized that consciously choosing to look at the positives of a circumstance was indeed a lot harder than when you are reading about it.

It was an eye-opening experience to be able to directly use a technique. You don’t have to be masters in positive psychology and see promising results. I learned that: one can stop worrying by breaking down your problems into little parts to which you can take action.

You can try this thought process for yourself the next time you are in a distressing situation. You can also share this technique with someone you know who’s having a hard time right now.

I hope that you will apply this into your life, you go try and see the difference that it could do for you!

It would be a delight to hear below about how you have used this technique and how it has helped others — would also love knowing about your and their reactions when you first read and heard that breaking down is the answer to your worries.

With a deep passion for writing, David Shields has been a blogger for more than 15 years. He frequently writes about Psychology, Mental Health, Meditation Teaching, Coaching, and Positive Psychology Program topics. His captivating style and extensive knowledge create meaningful content for his audience. 

Image courtesy of Yuris Alhumaydy.