We hear a lot in this world that the moment you find the one it will be smooth sailing.

The tide will be calm and boats are cleared… but what if it is not that way?

Do we give up because the one shouldn’t cause any confusion or hurt?

What if your past is so messy, and what if you were taught the wrong thing about relationships all along? Is the right one going to magically erase the years of pain you may have experienced surrounding love? The years of confusion?

To the story that I have been told all my life that it will just be easy when the right one comes along… I am just not sure I believe you anymore.

We experience so much confusion and pain in our lifetimes that it’s okay that some things are really hard for us. It’s okay that some of us carry jealousy issues to every relationship because of something that happened when we were so young. It’s okay that your first marriage or first relationship was painful. It’s okay they all have been. Someone may have betrayed you. It is okay to be hesitant to trust. It is okay if you have never experienced love so when you date it comes from a place of disbelief. All of this is okay. Life hurts. Learning about love hurts. Love itself doesn’t hurt but the change that comes when we must open up ourselves and be vulnerable can. When we become so vulnerable that we see parts of us we did not know we were hiding. It is okay that your life has been so messy that some of the pain has been packed alongside you.

Just because we meet the one it doesn’t mean that things will be automatically easy and it will just work. These traits that we have gained in order to protect ourselves aren’t just going to go away upon meeting someone. What it does take is the right person that makes you want to look at the reason you may be jealous, or the reason you have a hard time trusting. Some of these deep rooted feelings we have and ideas in our mind cannot even be looked at unless we are in the situation.

I thought enough years of being single and enough self growth I would be able to address any of these feelings alone. Most of the time it takes us being in the fire to be able to see what is causing this.

That is when the right one comes along…When we are willing to go through what we need in order to be free and also be with someone.

So no, I just cannot believe that things will just be easy when the right one comes along..But I do believe when the right person comes along we will gain enough courage and try to want to become better.

Life is messy..

Allow it to be…

Embrace the times when the tide is clear…

And

Ride the waves when it is not…

Em Garcia is a Hip Hop Artist and Writer. She is a growth seeker and believes kindness can change the world. She believes in everything and everyone. Honesty within yourself and others is the first step to an authentic life is the motto she lives by. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

Image courtesy of Jordan Bauer.