We’ve got to fall for some lies to get to our truth…
For all kinds of reasons (Catholic guilt, bad advertising, and the patriarchal mindset) for a very long time I believed that I had to earn my keep on the planet—that I wasn’t quite enough. From the primary un-truth, I was driven to formulas to be well—the right meditation, the seven steps, the magic workshop. But that kind of seeking in and of itself is unwell. These are the lies that dogma, false power, and all kinds of commercial industries are built on. And many of us have built our spiritual lives on one of these shaky foundations…
The Lie of Inadequacy: You were born not quite good enough.
It goes like this…“You were born defective, flawed.” Nooo! Erase erase. Blow it UP.
This big lie could translate to, “You were born a girl… so you’re inadequate.” or it might mean that you incarnated into the “wrong” caste, skin colour, or you Love someone who you apparently should not love. (Who shouldn’t be loved?)
The Lie of Inadequacy is how advertisers make their money, it’s the patriarchal mindset, it’s religious doctrines gone very wrong. And we can INHERIT the lie—it’s like a genetic story of being unworthy that gets baked into our DNA, generation after generation.
“What’s it like to go through life thinking you’re not quite enough—defective, flawed? Most of us know EXACTLY how that feels. And what happens when we believe the lie? We become chronic self-fixers, habitual strivers, always trying to get on the right side of Universal law. ”
The subtle but very toxic Lie of Inadequacy may have us believe that we’re here… and what we want is waaay over there, on the “right” side of it all. It’s a set up to have us constantly trying to prove our worth.
Listen. You were born important. You are a blessing of original goodness. And you are very powerful.
Love and FULFILLMENT are your birthright… just because you showed up here—in all your glory and with all of your questions and cravings and beauty. You’re kind. I know you are. You are more than adequate; you are substantial. WORTHY.
The Lie of Authority: Outside authority validates your worth.
We may be living in the Age of Information, but that doesn’t mean it is the Age of Wisdom. We’ve got a lot of mislabeled authority happening out there, and so many folks with calling cards that say, “I know the way…” when they don’t, really.
Yes, we are all teachers, but let’s be really clear: Nobody is the authority over your journey but you. I’ll say it again: N-o-b-o-d-y. Advice? Yeah, get some. Oracles? Sure, consult them. Actual gurus? Honour them. Friends? WORSHIP your friends. And: everything that other people offer you is data for you to take into consideration.
Final say? All you.
The Lie of Affiliation: Groupthink is good think.
Flashback: I’m in one of those personal development workshops where the Apparently Evolved Guy Who Has More Money Than Everyone in the Room is working his neural-linguistic programming kung fu to get participants to share their deepest secrets with a group of utter strangers. (What? You were there? Thought I recognized you.)
“Who wants to share next?” asks The Leader Guy. He doesn’t wait for anyone to volunteer. He zooms in on Pablo. Because it’s obvious that Pablo is scared sh*tless. Leader Guy walks Pablo through his proprietary and trademark-pending series of spirit-cracking questions and, right on cue, Pablo gets into his childhood story. An obese and verbally abusive mother, living in a house of total squalor and infestation, being sexually abused by a relative. It went on. It got worse. Unspeakably (unless you’re in a group workshop) worse.
Pablo cried through his story, and all the emotionally available people in the room joined him. Leader Guy walked him through the final phase of the Q-&-gruelling-A. And then, I kid you not, he signaled all of us to group-hug Pablo while the workshop DJ in the back of the room played Wynonna Judd’s cover of “I Wanna Know What Love Is.” You can’t make this sh*ft up—but you can pay $795.00 plus accommodations for it.
At dinner, one of the spirit-intoxicated attendees says to me, “Isn’t this wonderful?! That sharing that Pablo did is going to change his life!” I looked up from my bowl of quinoa and said, “Maybe. But I think when he gets back to work on Monday he’s going to regret the sh*t outta this.”
Because some things are too sacred for a fluorescent-lit hotel conference room. There are some things you should only tell your qualified therapist or your best friend in the sanctity of private space, when you’re truly ready—and that’s how the real healing happens. With respect and skill, not manipulation.
But, we’re all going to fall for the Lie of Affiliation at one point or another. We experience group enchantment to define our individuality. We enlist, we play, we promote, we wake up, we leave the flock. And then… we go find where we truly belong.
The Truth: The best self help is self compassion.
When you give yourself credit for making it this far in life—and still being a Gentle Soul—then you’ll know the Truth of Love. When, in a courageously still moment you hear yourself say, “I have everything I need right now,” then you’ll know the Truth of Faith.
And you’ll bring that shine to work with you. And to your causes, and your Loving, and your collaborations with the Universe.
You will not be fearless, but you will be certain of what matters most. You will place your preferences on the altar of your life and say: This! THIS is what brings me joy. And with the heavenly madness of Faith, you will live your Truth with the devotion it deserves.
“May your beauty dawn on you. May your pure Faith, light the way. May all be so blessed.”
And hey—slow down if you need to… but don’t ever stop.
With Love,
Danielle
Mentioned in this episode…
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Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.
