What do I do with the voice that says, “You can’t do that”?

I might have answered this in the past with straight up encouragement, like a lot of self-helpers tend to do. We think we should just speak louder than the critical voice inside of us. You WILL rise to the occasion! You CAN figure it out! You HAVE got what it takes! While those declarations may be true, I think we’ve been missing a step toward inner strength-building.

“The first thing to do with that inner critic voice is to have compassion for it. ”

This is a counterintuitive response because we live in a performance-based culture that thrives on judgement.

Shine compassion on that doubt-inducing inner taskmaster so you can see where it’s coming from. Hold the judgment and your impulse to fight with it. Give your inner critic love. Not hype or fight. Like so: You think I can’t do it? Wow, you must be feeling hurt. You must be telling me that I can’t do it because you’re scared. Ahhh. I understand.

When you approach self-generated criticism with compassion, instead of creating further separation from your heart, you’re building a bridge. And when you get up close you might say… Hmm. I’ve heard this voice before. You sound like my mother. You sound like my dad. And my mom had her wounds. And my dad was trying his best.

So: First, compassion. Then, witnessing. And then directives.

With compassion, you can parent your inner child. You can be your own authority and cheerleader. You can take everything into consideration — and remind your own self why you CAN do it: Because I am beloved. Because I’ve done it before. Because I know so much more now than I used to. Because I have the resources. Because the desire is strong. Because I am so devoted that all of my plans are vitalized with life force.

“Anytime you bring compassion to a situation you will see it more clearly. Compassion is the light of Love. It’s the true power source. Speak of it often.”

With Love,

Danielle

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Danielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path—from one seeker to another. The Fire Starter Sessions, and The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul—the book that has been translated into 8 languages, evolved into a yearly day planner system, a top 10 iTunes app, and an international workshop program with licensed facilitators in 15 countries. Named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs and what’s been called “the best place online for kickass spirituality.” A speaker, a poet, a painter, and a former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, Entrepreneur Magazine calls Danielle, “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” Her charities of choice are Eve Ensler’s VDay: a global movement to end violence against women and girls, and charity: water, setting out to bring safe drinking water to everyone in the world. She lives in Vancouver, BC with her favourite philosopher, her son. You can find her @daniellelaporte and just about everywhere on social media.