“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

It is no secret that ‘thin is in’ nowadays. That being thin and sexy defines a woman’s beauty. Circumstances were different in my case because I became overweight due to indulging in cravings and comfort foods when I was overcome with stress. I started lowering my food intake and did some exercises.

But then, I became more miserable because I couldn’t keep my exercise routine because of school, working at my Aunt’s store and responsibilities at home. Because of that I resorted to stress eating. In short, all the things fell apart when I was about to progress. Depressed, I gave up and resigned myself that I would be fat no matter what forever.

However, my view about it changed. It wasn’t instant though. It was a gradual change. Day by day, I realized that blaming myself won’t make anything change and it won’t make me feel any better.

The reasons I stopped blaming myself for being overweight are:

I Stopped Thinking That A Perfect Life Requires A Slim Body

It all started with the image that I’ve had embedded in my head ever since I was young and heavily influenced by romance novels. The image of having a perfect body will mean a perfect love, a perfect life and a perfect happy ending.

But that got me thinking. Those are fairy tales and they are labeled ‘fiction’ for a reason. I may have been young when I had painted that image in my head and I am a bit guilty of letting it be. I never expected it to affect me as I got older. Since I just let it stay put, it slowly festered in my subconscious and poisoned my beliefs in a subtle way.

So there and then, I banished my fairy tale expectations of the future and settled in the present. After that, I finally felt at peace with myself. It was finally letting go of something that I know I couldn’t reach but I was just too stubborn to see it. I wasn’t expecting that that little fascination of mine when I was young would be able to grow into a hindrance for me today.

I Acknowledged That I Have More Beauty In Me Than Just My Body Image

As I let go of my fantasy self: the sexy, flawless, confident, strong-minded me, I made acquaintance with my genuine self: the overweight, slightly shy, crazy, insecure me.

I found out she wasn’t that bad, actually. My genuine me may be overweight but she is sweet and kind. She may be insecure but she is friendly and brainy. She may not really be strong-minded but she is talented and has a great sense of humor. There I found out that for every flaw I have there are two good qualities that counter it. So I stopped counting all of my bad qualities and strive to show more of my good qualities instead.

I may never banish all my flaws like I did with my fantasy me but that’s what makes my genuine me genuine. And the most important part of it all? My genuine me is real. And she is me and she is my inner beauty.

I Found That There Are People That Will Still Care For Me No Matter How I Look

Sometimes, it is normal for us to lose friendships and acquaintances in our lives due to several reasons, being overweight included. However, I found out that there are people who will still care and love you no matter how you look or weigh like.

A perfect love doesn’t revolve around how pretty or how sexy you are. It revolves around the feelings of affection to the whole being of that person. It also opened my eyes at how ridiculous I even imagined achieving a perfect body that will give me a perfect yet superficial life.

Here, I found out which people loved me and cared for me for being me and which who cared and loved me for how I look. It was sad losing some friends but it was for the best that I get to know their affection for me wasn’t real. It was very comforting to know that I still am around the people who will accept me as a whole being, flaws and all.

I Found Out That Exercise Is Not A Chore And Can Be Done In Simple Ways

I always seem to have trouble finding time to do my exercise regime. I always thought that an effective and foolproof weight loss exercise should be those hour-long exercises that people really spend time on.

But that’s when I found out that that wasn’t the case. Exercise doesn’t mean that you have to produce gallons of sweat to declare that you’ve got a good exercise. Furthermore, exercise isn’t a chore that needs to be done every day. The best thing about exercise is it’s everywhere. It isn’t just present at the gym or at the track. It isn’t just done with some gym gear or sneakers.

Simple exercises are done even without us realizing it. The perfect example of that is walking. I didn’t realize that every time I am walking to work, I get exercise, walking off those calories and save money for commuting. Exercise isn’t a chore. It can be anything that we enjoy doing that could benefit us physically, emotionally and financially.

I Am Taking This All One Day At A Time

Coming to terms with all that’s bothering me about my weight made me feel more at peace with myself. It made me less depressed, less insecure and less stressed. I stopped blaming myself for gaining weight and I accepted myself no matter how I look or weigh.

However, that did not stop me from regulating my meals and doing simple exercises. It may not make me lose weight much but it doesn’t make me crazy and anxious about how  much I may weigh the next time. I learned the art of patience and that things will come to you in their own time without you rushing it.

I stopped my obsession with that perfect future I created for myself and decided to live in the now.

In The End, It Doesn’t Really Matter

What is really your purpose for losing weight? To be loved by others? To be beautiful? To be healthy?

All those expectations of the future, body image values and how other people will perceive you, all of those really don’t matter, actually. It all lies in you. What is important is your self-love and of you taking care of yourself.

For love is a powerful thing. If you love yourself, you take care of yourself and if you take care of yourself, you become healthy. Therefore, the trick is to get healthy and lose the unneeded weight caused by fat not lose weight to get healthy.

Live and love life. Relax. Breathe. And take it all one day at a time.

What do you think?

Kristine Ramos is an editor at scoopfed.com. She loves reading and writing and, of course, eating. If she is not reading or writing, she draws or plays video games. She mostly spends time with her pets or with a book in hand.

Image courtesy of Brandi Redd.