I recently celebrated my 10th anniversary. So far it’s been a heck of a ride – in a good way most of the time, but just as in most marriages, there are challenges.

My husband, Wes, is super cool and also in alignment with holistic living. He’s a former triathlete and is in better shape at his age than guys 20-years younger. Seriously, he runs, bikes, is learning how to paddle board and surf…

Wes and I LOVE to travel for business and pleasure. AND you know what? We do. We’re both self-employed and we work from home, so we have the freedom to do what we want, when we want. Yep, it’s awesome.

Now, let me tell you, I have no problem with freedom and neither does my husband. But because we’re both free to set our own schedules it often means being an arms length away from each other day and night. Can I tell you, we see a lot of each other?

A-LOT.

It’s nice, but remember those challenges I mentioned earlier? Yeah. Between both our businesses, we lead busy lives and it can be easy to take each other for granted. We can say or do things without thinking, so we try to pay really close attention to the way we communicate.

If we’re not careful, Bam! Micro-issues can escalate into all-out wars of words. Like if I say something and my husband makes it mean something about him. Now, what I said might have absolutely nothing to do with him but his thoughts, (based on past experiences) lead him to think it does.

Have you been there? We all have, and unless we consciously monitor our thoughts, we can get off track. They can lead us to feel criticized, demeaned or judged. It’s our job to be sure that doesn’t happen.

When we communicate, it’s not just what we say and how we say it – but how we HEAR each other.

Depending on our interpretation, we can misunderstand what someone is trying to tell us. And when that happens … things can get blown totally out of proportion. Our thoughts lead to our emotions, and both can lead to actions, so it’s super important to take control of our thoughts.

We consciously create our lives by becoming self-aware of our inner dialogue. What are we telling ourselves? Are we making a situation mean something about us? As long as we are aware of what’s going on in that space between our ears, we are able to determine whether it belongs there or needs to be replaced by something else.

Is there a thought that holds you back? Pay attention and learn to recognize when it comes up. In that very moment, you can change your thought. And that, my friend, will change your life experience.

Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, Kick-A$$ Business Guru, 7 Figure MOM-treprenuer. and passionate about empowering others to live the life of their dreams and is based in Boulder, CO. Hayley creates lifestyle transformations by coaching her clients to become the best WHOLE version of themselves possible. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.