In this Real Love Revolution video, I cover:

• Different types of abusive relationships
• What kind of plan(s) you should first make before taking any action
• How to safely leave an abusive relationship in a step-by-step guide, including making a survival kit
• Resources you can use to aid you in your exit

Part one of this video series is called “10 Signs You Are in an Abusive Relationship,” and you should check that out as well because when you’re in the thick of this kind of relationship, it becomes difficult for you to tell that you are being abused. Abusers can be very crafty at convincing you that the problem is you. And before we get into the steps of how to safely leave an abusive relationship, I want to be clear, that you must first make a safe exit plan. Don’t do anything yet. There are ways that you can get help with this. Don’t do anything impulsive, or anything that tips your hand to an abuser.

The first step must be admitting and acknowledging that there is abuse. Many of my clients who have gone through an abusive situation start off doubting their own experience. It seems that if you don’t have a black eye or a broken bone, it’s not abuse, but let me tell you – that isn’t true. Name calling, intimidation, yelling…those are all different faces of abuse. Abusers can be apologetic after the abuse occurs and an initial honeymoon period of reconnection can feel good. Then the tension builds again, and it leads to another explosion, that’s why it’s called a cycle of abuse. You could stay trapped in this cycle for the rest of your life, but please don’t. I don’t want you to. This is your one and only amazing life.

Not only can you survive this situation, but you can get out of it and thrive. I have helped clients leave abusive situations and their lives have blossomed. Just know that it truly is possible for you to live a second or third part of your life, regardless of how long you’ve been in this relationship. You have a right to be safe. You have a right to be happy.

You have a right to be deeply, deeply loved. @terri_cole (Click to Tweet!)

Watch the video below for the rest of the steps on how to leave an abusive situation. Don’t underestimate or minimize what is happening in your life. If you are walking on eggshells, if you are afraid of your partner, if you are afraid to leave, this tells you that you must leave. And there’s a safe way to do it.

Resources for Safely Leaving an Abusive Relationship:

*If you are in immediate danger, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline listed below or call 911.

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline
  • 1-800-799-7233
  • http://www.thehotline.org/
• Women’s Law
  • http://www.womenslaw.org/index.php
• National Network to End Domestic Violence
  • http://nnedv.org/
• Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness
  • http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/
• Office on Women’s Health, listing resources by state on violence against women:
  • https://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/get-help-for-violence/resources-by-state-violence-against-women.html
• Domestic Shelters, discussing how to flee an abuser when you are with your children:
  • https://www.domesticshelters.org/domestic-violence-articles-information/fleeing-an-abuser-with-your-children#.WHa2l7YrLVo
• The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, listing child custody saws by state:
  • http://www.ncjfcj.org/our-work/state-laws

Thanks for watching, reading and sharing.

And as always, take care of YOU.

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter, check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

Image courtesy of Trinity Kubassek.