We get so focused on the gains in this life, don’t we?

More friends, more experiences, more money, more success, more stuff, more square footage, more titles. More, more, more. We spend our lives striving and achieving and collecting. And then we display it all proudly for everyone to see, because we believe the more we have… the more we are, the happier we are.

It’s so far from the truth.

The last two years have taught me the art of letting go in the most challenging ways. Before the end of 2014, I chose the word expansion for the coming year. I wanted to expand in all areas… myself, my business, my tribe, my bank account. I wanted to step more fully into who I’m here to be and the work I’m here to do. Expansion, at the time, meant gains to me.

But life had a different idea of what it meant. The Universe heard expansion and proceeded to hand me more loss than I knew what to do with.

Loss of a loved one.
Loss of my memory.
Loss of clients, prospects, income.
Loss of my ability to write.
Loss of my sense of self.
Loss of direction.
Loss of pieces that made me who I was.
Loss of the ability to resonate with my own work.
Loss of friends, people I always thought would be there.
Loss of support systems and communities.
Loss of a man I thought was the love of my life.

It took me awhile to understand that this was actually the path to the kind of expansion I craved in my heart. This was a necessary journey I had to take in order to be shaped into the person I wanted to become. In order to truly begin doing the work I felt called to do. To find my true tribe. To grow and shift and change. To shed layers that no longer served me.

Letting go is an art form.

A challenging and heartbreaking one.

We’ve been raised to believe we must GAIN, in very specific ways, in order to find happiness, success, peace, and love. That we have to rack up points in a system that’s completely flawed. A system and way of being that often leaves us feeling empty, exhausted, and disconnected.

I’m so incredibly grateful for the lessons loss and letting go taught me. I’ve been stripped to my core, as has everything in my life and my business. I have so much LESS than I had before loss knocked me on my ass. SO. MUCH. LESS. In so many areas of my life.

I’ve let go of more in the last two years than ever before. And…

I’m happier, freer, more aligned, and more deeply connected than ever. I’m supported in ways I didn’t know I could be supported. I’m surrounded by people who love, see, and truly GET me. My business is lighter and more clearly on purpose. I’m untangled from all the patterns and beliefs that held me hostage for years. I’m everything I hoped I’d become, and more.

Sometimes letting go, rather than gaining and striving, is actually the key to getting exactly what we’re after. Sometimes it’s everything.

And you know what the best part is?
You already know what, or who, you need to let go of.

I promise you do… you just might not want to admit it yet.
Start the process today.

It’s hard and scary.
It will test all your limits.
But it’s everything.
I promise you that.

Stephenie Zamora is an author and life coach, business and marketing strategist, and founder of CallOfTheVoid.tv.  After struggling with PTSD, grief, and anxiety from a sudden and traumatic loss, she navigated her own difficult healing journey, and has set out to help others find the purpose of their own path using The Hero’s Journey as a framework. Stephenie is the founder of Stephenie Zamora Media, the author of Awesome Life Tips®, creator of Journey Mapping Sessions™, and is currently working on a second book, Unravel. Her work has been featured on The Huffington Post, Yahoo Shine, Elite Daily, Positively Positive, and many other publications over the years. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or at www.CallOfTheVoid.tv.

 Image courtesy of Giulia Bertelli.