The pinhole of light. It could be the light at the end of the tunnel. It could be what draws our eyes to the prize. It could be anything.
But, what if it was the illumination of our truest becoming?
What if in its illumination, we could come home to wholehearted joy, presence, fulfillment, peace at our truest and unconditional unbound love?
It could be heaven on earth.
I speak of the pinhole of light because I saw it for a long time. I fantasized about in my daydreams and through my night dreams. It seemed impossible to reach and without knowing about its capacity to illuminate, I never wanted anything more than I wanted to get to that pinhole of light.
The pinhole seemed so far from my grasp and it took pivotal moments, profound bravery and ultimately, survival to end and leave my broken marriage with my partner of fourteen years to realize that I could actually hold the pinhole of glorious light in my tired weak hands.
The story of a broken marriage could fill pages. My story’s pages are colorful and some of them are dark, skewed and smudged with emotions that shed even darker light outside the lines. The pictures no longer capturing what my heart beat for, what my soul stood for or what I could proudly teach my child or myself. The pictures were no longer pretty and held no pulse of my joys or my aching truths.
The day came and I walked until I ran away from the home that I had built. I ran towards that pinhole of light until I realized that there was no way in hell that I would ever reach that pinhole of light no matter how fast I ran.
That day, I slowed down.
I caught my own breath, caught up in my own fear and I let the light beyond my reach illuminate what I already knew bound with pure love.
I turned around and I walked towards the home that I had built and instead of continuing to let it fall down around me, in my acceptance of pivotal moments, profound bravery, and survival, I choose to rebuild it on my own, alone.
Acceptance.
Acceptance of pivotal moments, profound bravery and survival led me closer to the light than I had ever been. Pivotal moments, critical moments that change you, reshape you or strip you down to your essence at your very core. My core. Profound bravery, the unbridled strength to let love surface over the greatest depths of our own fears. My fears. Survival, the continuation of life. Your life, and your best life because you only get one.
There is no redo but there is a revolution of our choosing. @chowmmei (Click to Tweet!)
My choosing.
The pinhole of light, I reached it. I felt it in my hands and then I poured it back into my heart to rest alongside my spirit.
The light started to seep away a long time ago only to lead me to the illumination of my becoming, finally returning home.
The pinhole of light. It is heaven on earth.
Mei-Ling Chow lives in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada. She is a mother, a yoga teacher, a writer, and a practitioner of all things bringing purpose and wholeness to her life. Connect with her at mei-lingsyoga.com or on Twitter.
