I want to celebrate the light workers of the world. I want to call attention to the seekers and searchers. I want to give a shout out to the energy wielders and projectors. I want to say thank you to the intuitives and empaths working on this plane to help heal people, animals, and the planet.

I want to talk a bit about myself because I do not often divulge too much.

I am very guarded about anything too personal but I feel candor is important here. My honesty and my willingness to share what it is like to be and work “in the light” may be beneficial to someone who reads this. I feel compelled to talk about why I have never and will never really “fit in” with what might be considered normal and why it stopped being something I cared about.

I had always suspected that there was something far more important for me than being compatible with anything deemed conventional. Only in the very recent past had I made peace with the fact that to be an energy healer and to work in the light means having to blow up convention and dismantle old paradigms that no longer serve a purpose – for myself and others.

Energetically speaking, every day I cancel and delete practically everything in my reality and re-create it again each morning upon waking, guided by intuition and my intention. Needless to say, it’s exhausting. This seems vague, so I’ll explain.

I am an empath. I not only feel other people’s (and animals) emotions, I absorb them.

Though I’ve gotten better over the years at shielding and protecting myself energetically from taking on any emotional toxicity, I still need to clear and “flush” all of my filters and energy channels at the end of each day. In this way, I can begin each new day with a clean energetic slate, which affords me the ability to function in my life unburdened by energies that may make me feel disconnected to my own thoughts and emotions.

From this place of clarity, being a clean vessel for deep energetic work, I can serve my clients best by helping them to shift their consciousness, let go of old programs and patterns, and form new patterns in order to take their lives in more fruitful directions. There is nothing else that I have ever experienced that makes me feel more complete or aligned with a higher purpose. The amount of energy output required by me to best complete this task is all worth it.

For as long as I can remember, I have been extremely sensitive, even though I hide it well when I have to. I can remember very early on in my life being able to pick up on feelings of other kids and adults around me. This made me very insulated as a child. I kept to myself a lot. I engaged with other people in such a way that I listened and watched more, and spoke less.

I played by myself because it was easier and more comfortable. I didn’t like the noise of other kids my age. I had friends, but never that many. I was always the quiet one. Introverted. I wrote stories and drew pictures, sometimes being alone in my room for hours at a time, with my mother coming in to frequently check up on me. I only liked to watch certain things on TV, cartoons and comedies. I had to censor myself from watching shows or movies about animals, because they would always make me cry. I felt connected to my own little world and I often wanted to disconnect to the physical world around me, except when surrounded by nature.

I never liked school very much. I did fine academically, but was very shy in most social interactions. I preferred my own company, which made other children take notice of me, often singling me out for teasing and cruelty. High school years allowed for a different kind of tuning out. I experimented with drugs and alcohol early on. This only made me seem more social because I was partying with other people- but I often engaged in recreational drugs without joy. It was an easy way to be present physically while I mentally checked out.

All the while…I was searching.

I fervently consumed books about religion and spirituality. I was always interested in alternative realities, world religions, higher consciousness, while shunning anything too dogmatic. When I went to college, I was less concerned about a specialization or degree and far more interested in having the freedom to study a wide variety of topics that were more arcane and esoteric. I was always drawn to studies of the metaphysical realms.

Embarking on a career has been my greatest challenge to date. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I have had so many jobs doing so many different things that I’ve almost lost count over the years. I’ve worked in countless restaurants. I have degrees in Physical Geography, Human Sexuality, and English Literature. I have an esthetician’s license. I’ve studied Herbology and Nutritional Health for many years. I’ve been a bar manager, a restaurant manager. I’ve been in sales, retail…the list goes on.

Though it took me years to figure it out, I am an energy healer. I am a Reiki Master/Teacher, an intuitive and an empath. I work in the light. The major difference lies in the distinction between what I do and what I am.

There’s that pesky little question of convention every so often. “What do you do?”  Well, I occasionally tend bar. That’s on my taxes because that’s what I do. Ask me what I am.

Now, after many years of not ever feeling as though I was fitting in, I am now OK with that. I’ve never been too influenced by societal norms but, unconsciously, I believe I felt the need to resist the undeniable urge to be myself, and to deny guidance towards my authentic nature. After years of living in confusion and fear of truly embracing my higher purpose, I am finally coming home.

I am allowing my true nature to blossom more fully every day, hoping to one day consciously expand into the most authentic and fully realized human expression of my infinite nature.

I’m not completely there. There’s more work to do. But I’m somewhere over the rainbow, walking confidently on a path laid out for me as a co-opted effort between myself and the universe. I am committed to help others to find the guidance of their higher self. I feel guided and supported in doing so. I hope to continue my work in guiding others to find their Divine support from Source that is always waiting, always there for the taking.

It takes courage and maybe a bit of audacity to say that most of my life has just felt like checking off columns on some sort of adult report card. I don’t feel disdain or regret because all of it needed to unfold as it did for me to get here, right now.

And it took a while to get here. I wish I had one person tell me early on, “Don’t worry, Kathryn. Stop focusing on what you must do, start being who you are. The rewards are far greater than any list of achievements.”

Stop focusing on what you must do. Start being who you are. @KathrynMussell (Click to Tweet!)

So there it is. That little nugget of wisdom. I’ve been looking for that needle in the haystack for some time. Allow me to say it to you now.

Blessings and Light,

Kathryn

Kathryn Mussell is an energy coach, Reiki Master/Teacher, empath, writer, blogger. She is the owner of Kathryn Mussell Wellness where she helps others to align with their most authentic and divine expression. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Image courtesy of Flash Bros.