Lily is our eight-year-old basset hound. She is one of four we’ve rescued since 2008 and unfortunately, the third to be diagnosed with cancer. She is the youngest this has happened to which makes it all the more difficult. As with when the other two were diagnosed, I was angry. (Fourteen year old Daisy was diagnosed five years ago and put down immediately and eleven year old Swanny was diagnosed only eighteen months ago. He too lost his battle). Yes, I was very angry. I resisted the information. It had to be “wrong”. I wanted different, better information about Lily’s prognosis. And then, shortly after I began this process, I stopped myself. I’d been here before, not only with cancer diagnoses for my dogs but with my dad’s cancer diagnosis and other uncomfortable life situations that my ego tells me are not how it’s “supposed to be.”
This resistance is a familiar feeling and approach for me but one I’ve been learning to shift away from and instead, accept what is without resisting it. Resisting the present moment is another form of insanity. I can’t change the diagnosis.
Pushing against it and fighting it when it’s already happened creates the false illusion that I can actually change it or control it. I cannot. What I can do is accept it and move from there. Such a simple concept but certainly not easy.
My spiritual and personal growth journey of the past two years has repeatedly put me face-to-face with this concept of not resisting the present moment; despite how “wrong” it appears to be. Life throws us curve balls. There are the seemingly “good” ones – the unexpected new relationship, the great new client, or wonderful job promotion. And, there are the seemingly “bad” ones – the unexpected loss of a job or a spouse or the cancer diagnosis. We find it easy to flow with and be at one with life when we perceive the curve balls as “good” and resist when we perceive them as “bad.” Truth be told, the great new client can end up being a nightmare and the unexpected loss of a job can end up being a huge blessing. The idea is to flow with what wants to unfold in your life, with what is unfolding in your life, despite how you perceive it in that moment. Why? Because that FEELS better. Doesn’t it? Think about it… Accepting it with a sense of curiosity and belief that despite what it looks like in the moment, it’s all working out as it’s supposed to is a lot better than pushing, resisting, or fighting what’s happening.
I came out with guns blazing at Lily’s cancer diagnosis for all of about one day. As I started to gather information about what “FIGHTING” the cancer would mean for her, it felt awful. Radical surgery, radiation, chemotherapy – all which would require countless trips to the vet and remove large chunks of quality from Lily’s life (with no guarantee of added quantity of life). This all equated to trauma for our dog. But hey, we’d be “fighting” the cancer. Right?
What if, instead, we decided to flow with the cancer diagnosis? What if we accepted it and worked with it as opposed to against it? Yes, she had an aggressive mass inside her body but what if we simply stopped feeding it and instead, made Lily’s body so healthy that her natural healing abilities kicked in to keep it from spreading? What if we fed her the best healthiest food and gave her herbal supplements to sustain her versus fighting the cancer with poisonous drugs that would also destroy her quality of life? That, my friends, felt like flowing with curveball we were dealt instead of trying to attack it head on. That felt like being at one with what life presented as opposed to resisting it every step of the way. And that’s what can emerge if we choose to not automatically resist the “bad” that shows up in a given moment.
The other lesson this diagnosis presented is to welcome everything that shows up in life as though we’ve chosen it, because, in some fashion we have. Why on earth would I choose yet another beloved dog with cancer as part of my life? Because I believe it’s all part of my soul growth. I believe my soul is here to experience lessons and grow and this is presenting me with another growth opportunity.
I also believe that God, the Universe, your higher power (however you choose to designate it) always has our best interests at heart – no matter what it looks like in the present moment. I believe there are lessons and blessings in everything that shows up. The opportunity is to find it.
Lily’s diagnosis has put me smack dab in the center of “nonresistance to the present moment” – again. This has been a big life and soul lesson for me, especially the past two years. And yet, it showed up again so that means there’s still more for me to learn.
I also believe that:
The sooner we learn a soul lesson, the sooner it stops showing up. @andriacorso (Click to Tweet!)
Life continues to bless us with opportunities to step into and be the best version of ourselves. My throwing pens across the room and shouting profanities at no one when I got my dog’s cancer diagnosis might not have been the best version of myself but in the moment, it was the best I could do. And, the fact that she didn’t stay around for weeks or months is definite progress. Did I need to process and release some angry sad emotions? Yes. But the sooner I did that, the sooner I was able to get out of “resist mode”. And, the sooner I did that, the sooner I was able to get into a curious mode and ask how I could flow and move with what’s happening versus pushing against it. This is when the best version of me shows up and is able to tap into all the solutions that are available from that vantage point.
What life situation keeps showing up for you? Is there a soul lesson in it for you?
The beauty of my lesson from Lily is she’s been happier and more agile since her cancer diagnosis than I’ve seen her in months. Maybe it’s because she’s eating better than she ever has and getting awesome supplements to boost her energy. Or maybe it’s because we’ve stopped dragging her to the vet to try to find out what’s going on. Or, maybe, just maybe it’s because she simply flows with what life presents her without resisting it. Yes, she doesn’t know any better and ignorance is definitely bliss but I think her demeanor of simply flowing with and not resisting each present moment is one we should all take note of – it’s a much more peace-filled agile way to experience life.
Andria Corso is an award-winning life and leadership coach, author, and founder of AndriaCorso & Co. Her latest book, Fear to Flow: How to Let Go of Your Struggle and Allow Life to Unfold Perfectly is about how to move away from living in fear and instead, live in the Divine flow of life. For more information, please visit www.andriacorso.com or connect with her at Facebook or Twitter.
