We all have a voice in our heads telling us what to do.

Pick a motivational ‘ism, (it doesn’t really matter which one):

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Decide to rise. Do what ordinary people fear. No pain, no gain. Find a way, not an excuse. Dream bigger.

Really, nothing wrong with any of those dictums. Philosophically, you could drill into each one and find some universal truth. Or, you could write these off as BS motivational hype. It’s a personal choice. Here’s the point:

Like all communication, it’s THE TONE that makes the difference. And the tone that you take with yourself is the most important.

Is your inner motivational voice shouting or whispering? Is it cheering you on, or talking down to you? Is it acting like it’s all supportive when really, it’s just trying to scare you into getting something done so the world will get off your back? (Read: Your chronically disappointed mother; your successful sister [who’s really actually quite lovely, it’s just that you’re a bit envious]; your subtly judgmental so-called BFF…)

If you’ve got a cheerleader in your psyche who’s the best friend you ever had, then you can stop reading here. Congratulations!

If your Inner Motivational Speaker tends to shout at you no matter what, then consider this:

Sometimes you have to stand up to that inner voice (and to all disconnected motivational speakers out there acting like they haven’t had a down day in years) and you just need to say: Don’t yell at me.

That’s it. Tell your Inner Motivational Speaker this: Speak kindly to me. Share because you care. Really believe in me. Today, I need you to whisper. Or…Today, I need you to give me a rock opera of pure love. Be kind.

You can sing the same anthems. Go get ‘em! Carpe diem! Sleep when you die. Never give up. But sing them from your heart, not your lack mentality.

Inner motivation is a two-way conversation, not a dictation. @DanielleLaPorte (Click to Tweet!)

Sweetened assurances won’t make you too soft, they’ll make you mightier.

Inner kindness translates to mega motivation.

All Love,

Danielle LaPorte is the creator of The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul — the book that turned into a day planner system, a top iTunes app, and an international workshop program. A Desire Map workshop happens every weekend somewhere in the world. Author of The Fire Starter Sessions and the wildly popular #Truthbomb series, Danielle is also the co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan and co-host of the Beautiful Writer’s Group podcast.

Entrepreneur Magazine calls her “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” A speaker, poet, former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, she writes weekly at DanielleLaPorte.com, where over four million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place online for kick-ass spirituality,” and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes. The Huffington Post named her Twitter feed as one of the “12 of Wisest Twitter Accounts Worth Following.” You can find her @daniellelaporte just about everywhere.