The reality of life is that it is full of moments of sadness, compromise, and responsibility. As teenagers we rage against perceived injustice, cry over small problems, and we are told “well, that’s life, you just have to get on with it”.

To a certain extent, this is true. As I grew up I had the realisation (as everyone does) that things won’t always go my way, and that highs and lows are inevitable. Fourteen years olds can get away with throwing strops when they don’t want to do the housework, but it’s a pretty embarrassing way to behave in your twenties.

Sometimes, you have to do things you don’t want to do, and responsibility is part of adult life.

But as vital as this realisation is, it can be taken too far. The attitude of “that’s life” made me stick around in situations that I should have abandoned, and a sense of duty made me stay miserable.

I didn’t like my job, but I thought I just had to get on with it. My relationship wasn’t going well, but relationships take work and sacrifice, don’t they? Maybe I wasn’t seeing my friends as much as I’d like, but that’s part of being a grown up.

I got trapped into the idea that being stressed, dejected and overwhelmed is just the reality of being an adult – the way that everyone feels.

I didn’t realise that the phrase “that’s life” isn’t an excuse to be unhappy, or stick around in situations that make you miserable. My unhappiness was a direct result of the decisions I was making, even if that decision was nothing more than to stay put.

When we are unhappy, we need to give ourselves the permission to change. @bugeyedcreature (Click to Tweet!)

Life might be full of difficult, tedious and unsatisfying moments, but there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t feel fulfilled and content for the majority of the time.

If you feel frustrated, bored or unhappy, ask yourself why. Are your feelings purely a reaction to things that you can’t control, or are there things that you can change?

There are of course low moments in life, and times when we just need to put our heads down and just keep on keeping on. Recognising the difference between these moments and the times when we need to take action can be difficult.

Change often requires an honest judgement of our lives.

Maybe you are creating a life you don’t want out of a sense of duty or social pressure. Perhaps your life looks successful on the outside, but it isn’t the life you truly wanted for yourself.

Bowing to outside influence rather than following your own ideas and dreams will always make you feel stymied, and there’s times when asserting yourself is vital – it’s not always a bad thing to want to get your own way.

Or perhaps you are surrounded by people who don’t bring out in the best of you. If your friends or partner burden you with their stresses without offering any support in return, or your colleagues underestimate your abilities, you can end up feeling unappreciated and insecure.

This isn’t something you have to put up with.

Clearly communicating your needs in your close relationships may be all the change you need, and seeking out new company or reconnecting with great friends you’ve lost touch with are all positive actions within your control.

The clearest indication that you need to make changes in your life is that you constantly daydream about your life being different, of positive change swooping in through a stroke of good luck.

Daydreaming about the love of our lives whisking us off somewhere exciting, winning the lottery and becoming instantly rich and successful is something we all do, even when we are at our happiness. The problem comes when it’s our only escape.

Constantly thinking like this is a sign that you are desperate for some positive change in your life, but believe that the only way that it can happen is through some outside source.

Unfortunately, this kind of good luck is hard to come by, and if you wish for change, empowering yourself to take action is the first step to transforming your life.

Unhappiness isn’t inevitable and you may be surprised at just how much things can improve when you put your mind to it. All it takes is knowing when to change.

Holly Ashby is a writer and illustrator who’s interested in creativity and wellbeing. She currently works for Will Williams Meditation, a London meditation centre that aims to help people achieve health and happiness through Vedic meditation. You can find Holly on Twitter.

Image courtesy of unsplash.com.