Recently, while doing yoga, an image appeared in my mind’s eye. The image was of myself as a teen. Actually, it was more than just an image. It was a feeling. I was reminded, in mind and body, of what life felt like back then. And I was infused with a deep sense of compassion for the young woman who was struggling to find her way through her teens and early twenties.

While my early years weren’t as devastating or traumatic as what many people go through, I experienced my fair share of difficulties. My parents divorced when I was young, and my father eventually stopped communicating with me. My stepfather was a decent, but troubled man – a recovering alcoholic who was blind due to a gunshot wound that almost killed him in his twenties. I also seemed to have been born with a pervasive sense of anxiety that was way beyond my years and that often resulted in random illnesses, phobias, and insomnia. I was often bullied or ignored in elementary school, and I ended up on antidepressants in my early twenties.

Don’t get me wrong – my childhood wasn’t all bad. I had food and shelter, a caring family, a few close friends, several hobbies, and a general sense that I was loved. But I also had a crushing sense of low self-esteem. I never felt good enough and I constantly compared myself to others who I believed had it “better” than I did. I also suffered from a crippling lack of confidence in my opinions, beliefs, and experiences. I always deferred to authority figures, or to people who were “cooler” than I was. When it came to having opinions or making decisions, it’s almost as if I lacked a sense of self.

Even in high school, when by some twist of fate I ended up hanging out with the “cool kids,” I always felt inadequate. I felt like I lived on the fringes of the cool crowd – sort of cool, but never cool enough.

In my mind I was never:

Pretty enough.

Funny enough.

Athletic enough.

Smart enough.

Witty enough.

Blonde enough.

Relaxed enough.

Big-breasted enough.

Hip enough.

I felt like boys ignored me, girls tolerated me and that for most intents and purposes, I was relatively invisible.

Me at age 16.

The kicker is that most of these things were absolutely false. And I even had evidence for it. Concrete evidence that was presented to me on a regular basis. For example, I won almost every academic award in my high school. I even won an award for being the “sassiest girl,” which, from what I can recall, had something to do with being witty/funny. I had boyfriends and close female friends who complimented and supported me regularly. At the end of high school I even ended up being Valedictorian of my graduating class through a combination of academic excellence and being voted in by my peers. I’d obtained a scholarship to attend university and the world seemed to be my oyster.

But my insecurities continued to crush me.

I spent my early twenties in therapy, on antidepressants, and desperately seeking all forms of male approval. A messy love triangle contributed to me hitting rock bottom by age twenty-four. Since then, I’ve spent over a decade on a journey of personal development, healing, and self-discovery. I got off antidepressants, worked on building my self-confidence, and managed to create a pretty awesome life for myself.

What I discovered throughout this healing journey is this: I have always been good enough.

I was good enough as a child. I was good enough as a teenager. I was good enough in my twenties. And I’m good enough now.

Sometimes I wish I could sit down with the teenage version of myself, take her hands, look deeply into her eyes, and tell her these things. I would encourage her to listen to her own inner guidance. I would ask her to trust that everything would be ok – even during difficult times. I would urge her to stop basing her self-worth on her academics or on what other people thought of her or on what she looked like compared to everyone else.

I have such immense compassion for the young woman I once was. She took many difficult situations and did her best to persevere through them. She showed immense strength, resilience, and determination in the face of adversity. Beneath all of her accomplishments was a deeply entrenched belief that she was worth it. That it was not only possible for her to live an incredible life – but that she deserved it.

I hope that any teens reading this blog (or adults accessing their inner teen) who can relate to aspects of my teenage years will take comfort in the idea that things can (and will) get better. When I say “get better,” I don’t mean you’re going to be happy all the time or that nothing bad will ever happen to you. Case in point: yesterday would have been my stepfather’s sixt-fourth birthday. He died tragically and unexpectedly nine years ago – an event that is burned in my memory and that was extremely difficult to process.

What I mean is that:

Despite life’s tragedies, there is a glimmer of light on the horizon. Follow it. @BethanyButzer (Click to Tweet!)

Trust yourself in all of your beauty and your darkness.

Know that as you age and mature, one day you will look back and feel immense love for the young woman you once were. Because that woman is incredible just as she is.

Bethany Butzer, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, researcher, and yoga teacher who helps people create a life they love. Check out her book, The Antidepressant Antidote, follow her on Facebook and Twitter, and join her whole-self health revolution.

If you’d like tips on how to create a life you love, plus some personal instruction from Bethany, check out her online course, Creating A Life You Love: Find Your Passion, Live Your Purpose and Create Financial Freedom.

Image courtesy of splitshire.com.