A former boyfriend and I were talking about what it means to really, actively show love to someone. Do you show them love in the way(s) that THEY want/need to be loved? Answer: YES. Do you express love to them in the way(s) that are most natural and self-affirming for YOU? Answer: YES. Both are true (the answer with Love is usually…“both”.)

Find out precisely how your people want to be loved and then…just love them that way.

(Take the Love Languages test if you want to dig in to this psychology.) Bend to give the person in your gaze exactly what they need, the way they need it — and guaranteed, you’ll be a better person for that kind of giving. Not less than yourself, not losing your identity. You’ll be a more loving person — more evolved.

AND…don’t contort yourself for anyone because you’re going to bruise your spirit. Over-stretching will break you down eventually — and the relationship. Express your love with what comes most naturally to you —

LOVE LIKE YOU WANT TO LOVE. @DanielleLaPorte (Click to Tweet!)

Your style, your voice, your eccentricities. When you’re more you, it’s inevitable that you evolve.

If you can be TOTALLY YOU and love someone in their ideal way to be loved…match made in heaven.

LovevolveLovevolveLovevolve.

(Thanks to @sinclaircourt for the beautiful #Truthbomb image xo)

Danielle LaPorte is the creator of The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul — the book that turned into a day planner system, a top iTunes app, and an international workshop program. A Desire Map workshop happens every weekend somewhere in the world. Author of The Fire Starter Sessions and the wildly popular #Truthbomb series, Danielle is also the co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan and co-host of the Beautiful Writer’s Group podcast.

Entrepreneur Magazine calls her “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” A speaker, poet, former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, she writes weekly at DanielleLaPorte.com, where over four million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place online for kick-ass spirituality,” and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes. The Huffington Post named her Twitter feed as one of the “12 of Wisest Twitter Accounts Worth Following.” You can find her @daniellelaporte just about everywhere.