How many times have you wished you could go back in time and stop yourself from making a mistake in your life?

A lot, I’m betting – me too. It’s human nature to feel regret and want to become better decision makers so we can avoid future missteps in our life.

But there’s no time machine in life, and no reset button to use whenever we take a wrong step.

Even if we made the right choice in the past, it’s still common to feel regret over a decision we made because we feel it was selfish or inconsiderate of us in the grand scheme of things.

So how do we stop it from consuming our thoughts and our dreams?

Regret Is More Than A Thought, It’s A Worldview

It’s no secret that regret consumes a large part of our lives if we allow it to. But if we make decisions fueled by regret, then we’ll stay clouded by what could have been and what the future could hold if we only did things differently.

I remember trying to choose my major in university and how everyone around me was telling me how I needed to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and fast.

Needless to say, it was a struggle. And while the major I ended up choosing lined up with my passion for writing, I couldn’t help but think what if – what if I had gone into marketing like my dad wanted me to? What if I had gotten a business degree that was relatively safe and would likely lead to a “good” job, even if I didn’t necessarily like it?

Despite the fact that it’s hard not to think about the money I could’ve saved by not going to college, it’s fruitless to dwell on what “could have been”.

We can’t change the past, no matter how hard we wish we could. What’s done is a fact of life.

There’s no way to stop ourselves from making mistakes in the end, so why not embrace them instead of denying their reality?

You Are Capable Of Creating Your Ideal Future, Despite Your Past

Many of us find it hard to pursue paths that line up with what we want to do because of external pressures from society and our own families.

But does it always have to be that way?

Think about what many dying people have in common. A lot of them share a similar view of regret based on “should haves”. “I should have been a writer/lawyer/created that business,” they say, “but instead I chose a safe path which ended up with a safe job and a safe life.”

We all carry a unique greatness inside of ourselves, and if we deny our own talents then we’ll inevitably fall prey to doing what we don’t want. And in the end, among our dying breath, we’ll be filled with regret and become consumed by what we should have done, rather than what we actually did.

And who wants that?

Life Is Too Short To Do The Things We Don’t Want To Do

In his 2014 Speech at MUM, Jim Carrey talks about his experiences growing up as a poor kid in Canada.

At one point in his speech, Jim states that his dad always wanted to be a comedian but remained an accountant his whole life until he was later laid off from the company he worked for. But throughout his life, his father encouraged Jim to be a comedian even as he struggled to stay the path, bombing gigs and struggling to make money as an emerging figure in the comedy world at the time.

Throughout his speech, Jim plays on this feeling of persistence, stating that “you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.” Like Jim’s father, many of us stick with lives we don’t even like because they’re the “safe” choices, the “good” jobs that keep our families fed and the bills paid at the moment.

Forget about practicality for a moment, and think about this: what would have happened if Jim’s dad had taken a chance on his dreams? And even if he failed at taking a chance on doing what he loved, wouldn’t that be better than failing at a job he didn’t even want?

Missteps are a necessary part of making progress in our lives. Without them, we don’t grow as people – and they can actually remind us of what we really want out of life, and not what we’ve convinced ourselves that we think we want.

No, Life Isn’t Fair – But It Never Was

Sure, life isn’t fair and constantly throws curveballs at us, but no one needs to settle for a life they’re not proud of.

Stop justifying your choices based on “should haves” and “could haves”, because they lie directly in the way of your happiness.

Even though I went to college and got a degree I’m not directly using in my life, I don’t regret my decision.

Because in a way this “failure” led to me finally embracing my writing, and to me that’s priceless beyond the cost of tuition, courses, and books. Any time I’ve spent regretting my decision has simply been wasted energy, leading to wasted time and the endless pool of self-pity.

Stop doubting yourself. Go out there and create your life, and start living your dreams. @powellwriter
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Because if you don’t get out of your own way, then how can you ever trust yourself to follow the path you know you can follow?

Blake Powell is on a mission to help writers put aside their excuses and live a life worth living. Click here to download a free copy of The Bulletproof Writer’s Handbook to learn how to conquer the blank page and boost your writing today. You can also connect with him on Facebook and Twitter.

Image courtesy of Nourdin Ryon.