On the winding road to your True Nature, you’re going to come across some darkly self-deprecating apologies that may disguise themselves as selfless and evolved flexibilities. My own cliffs to white hot truth are littered with them. Like…

: “I’m sorry for being so pointedly opinionated. Sorry about that {insert sheepish wince.} I really need to take the edge off.”

: “I’m sorry, but I so crave laughter and you’re inability to catch sarcasm and my goofy charm is breaking my heart, but maybe I just need to be more understanding and flexible — sorry, I’ll just buck up and quietly find the humour in things…on my own. It’s okay. I’ll just be laughing to myself over here in the corner.”

: “Oh and about my need to be adored…yeah, sorry about that. It must be so annoying that I love to be loved. I’ll do you a favour and lower my expectations. I mean, I should be able to get by on less love by now, I am a grown up afterall.”

And so it goes. The self-hatred steamroller squashing down essentially lovely needs. {See the definition of lovely below..it’s, well, lovely.}

It’s a human tragedy actually, that we deny ourselves that which feeds our spirit most substantially; that we demean ourselves for simply wanting what we want and being sad when we don’t get it.

Sadness is a signal: Go find soul provisions. Seek happiness. Now. @DanielleLaPorte
(Click to Tweet!)

MY POSITIVELY SOUL-SUSTAINING MUST-HAVES…

• It’s a fact: I want the best for you, and I will tell you what I think is best for you for that very reason. My logo sums it up: key to my heart and a straight-shooting arrow. Have opinions, will speak them. I need to have my intentions and dharma understood, or at least appreciated.
• You have to laugh at my jokes. Because, it’s a fact, on most occasions, I am one witty rascal mamacita. And if you’re not laughing at my jokes, then you better have your own wicked sense of humour to fill the laugh gap. Because if you don’t have a sense of humour, it ain’t funny!
• I much to prefer to be adored than resisted. So, I will go where the love is. And that, I have finally figured out, is more noble and lovely than I ever thought true.

Of course I don’t, can’t, will never get my needs met consistently – not even by a long shot. But it’s the practice of loving my longings that sets my True Nature free. And I need that freedom more than anything.

What do you positively need?

. . . . . . .

love—ly:
1. charmingly or exquisitely beautiful.
2. having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye.
3. delightful; highly pleasing.
4. of a great moral or spiritual beauty.

Danielle LaPorte is the outspoken creator of The Desire Map, author of The Fire Starter Sessions (Random House/Crown), and co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she writes weekly at DanielleLaPorte.com, where over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality”, and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes.

You can also find her on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter @daniellelaporte.