Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is an ancient and eternal law. – Buddha

I am that most dangerous of things, a true believer. We can be so hurt when the world turns on us. When what we believed so powerfully is shown to be untrue. Although even then, we often continue to believe. A true believer has faith even when the world appears to be completely against her. We are told we cannot fly, and we fall, over and over again. But at night, in our dreams, we fly.

We see that the limitation is not in our beliefs but in our persistence. @souldeepwell
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Through our faith, we can ease the hurt for so many. We can heal our own hurt and wounded hearts.

What do I believe?

If I’m any kind of evangelist, I’m an evangelist for Good. For the belief that everything always turns out as it’s meant to. I wholeheartedly believe that even death happens for a reason. And because I’m a true believer, you can’t change my mind about it.

Tell me your worst, your most horrific stories. I’ve seen the pictures (censored even now) of the concentration camps the day the Americans marched in, the naked, beyond-emaciated, skeletal men and women, the scars of their torment visible. They say you cannot un-see something. I saw those pictures when I was in my twenties, and I cannot, it’s true, un-see them. They are always there to be called up.

I’ve seen pictures of babies wired into their cribs so they could not escape while a parent went out on a binge. I took care of a child whose mother dunked his arm in boiling water to teach him a lesson. I amputated the arm of a drug addict who passed out on top of his arm for two days and no one found him or moved him. I spent two and half hours cleaning out the gravel from the road rash of a man who had dropped his motorcycle during a police chase. I’ve taken care of a man who was run over by a car for shooting another man – and I took care of the shooting victim as well. Both of them gang members.

I’ve seen the dreadful aftermath of a gunshot wound to the face. I’ve cleaned the cow manure off a man who rear-ended a manure truck. And if you can’t un-see something, believe me, you can’t un-smell something either. I’ve drained hundreds of disgusting-smelling abscesses.

I’ve seen humanity up close. But in those pictures of concentration camp internees, you should have seen the hope in their eyes. When I finished cleaning up the manure man and stitched his face, he was so grateful to us and so embarrassed about the smell. The guy with the road rash was funny and easy-going. Draining an abscess is such a profound relief for the sufferer.

None of us is truly evil.

What I believe is that none of us is truly evil. We are all capable of making extremely bad decisions.

There is a theory that trauma is a disease. That theory, in essence, shows that certain actions and traits predispose people for being involved in trauma. And it certainly did seem, when I was a resident, that there was a certain personality type that tended to be involved in trauma. And there were people who were repeatedly affected by trauma as well.

But I think it’s deeper than that. I think that often we don’t realize we have the power to avoid or remove ourselves from a difficult situation. We are, for all intents and purposes, stuck. The circumstances of our lives, the influences we have been exposed to, the financial, societal, racial, gender, discriminatory constraints of our lives, lead us to believe we have no choice.

For some, the only way they see to get out is to hurt or even kill others. They find themselves surrounded by others who think the same, and that belief is perpetuated. It is easy to find evidence in the world that what you believe is true. The gang mentality, that if we stick together and fight for what belongs to us – do whatever it takes not to be a victim – is pervasive and seductive.

For others, they endure the abuse, fear, torture they are subject to. Almost certainly, they have tried to escape, only to find themselves in the same situation, with even less hope of change and probably more abuse. Or they in fact slip out, escape, only to soon find themselves in a new, but similar abusive situation. Each time that happens, the thought of escape becomes either more hopeless or more urgent. And when it becomes more urgent, it may mean they become so desperate that they too will hurt or even kill another.

For so many, their lives are not this extreme, and yet they are trapped nonetheless. A job that is not fulfilling. A family life that is unhappy. Not enough money to get by. An alcoholic spouse. A child who is a drug addict. A life of loneliness and disconnection. Depression. Anxiety. Chronic pain. The list is longer than I can write here, ways that our lives don’t seem good.

Goodness doesn’t seem to exist, or is only seen in glimpses – the pay it forward coffee movement, the random acts of kindness, the smile of a stranger who seems genuinely happy to see us. For a moment, we look up from our day-to-day drudgery and someone else seems to truly get us.

Look for the Goodness around you

But just for a moment, suspend your disbelief. See what I see. Believe what I believe. I’m not alone. In fact, I believe I am connected to every single one of you. No matter your circumstances.

You can find the evidence of whatever you believe. Try it as an experiment. Look around you for signs of goodness. You will see that the more you look, the more you appreciate, the more there is to see.

Crack your heart open a little wider. Don’t keep sealing those cracks with the cement of blame, anger, protection. No Goodness can even get in through that cement. And it can’t get out either.

Look, I’m not going to promise you a never-ending life on the yellow brick road. It takes something – grit, courage, persistence, faith – to break through to Goodness. I haven’t mastered flying yet. But I haven’t given up either.

Carolyn Messere is a retired colon and rectal surgeon who now spends her days as a coach and healer. Her surgery field these days is more the soul than the body, as she works with healers, healthcare practitioners, and soulful entrepreneurs at Soul Deep Wellness. You can find her on Twitter, Facebook at and at www.drmessere.com

Image courtesy of Luis Llerena.