From the outside looking in, I might seem a bit… reckless.

Or, a gentler way of putting it might be: an exceptionally fast decision-maker.

For instance, on more than one occasion, I have decided to move to another country, bought the plane ticket and was halfway through packing my second suitcase, within three hours of the initial decision.

These look like abrupt, sudden choices, but what people don’t see is the days, weeks, or sometimes months of painstakingly weighing this decision out. They don’t see the extended fog of confusion that hung over me before I made the decision. And they often don’t see me bouncing from being 100% sure of what to do on Monday to being riddled with doubt and changing my mind entirely on Tuesday.

Should I get a graduate degree or stay in this job? Should I break up with him or really re-commit to this relationship – for the seventeenth time? Should I have the risotto or the salad? What should I doooo?

For years, I saw this as a major character flaw of mine. Sure, once I’ve made a choice I move forward at breakneck speed but it takes me so long to arrive at the decision. So much wasted time.

I agonized over what magical formula or time-tested technique would help me make decisions faster. Why can’t I just know right away? Why is the first half of my process so miserably slow? Whyyyy?

Here’s why:

This is my process. This is how I’m built. I mull. I ponder. I dream. Until the clarity cannon fires, this back and forth experience is the way my psyche functions when it has to make a big decision to make.

Is it complicated? Yes. Have I wished I could skip over that fuzzy middle bit where everything feels wobbly and my eyes can’t focus? Absolutely. Can I do anything about it? Thus far, the clearest answer I’ve got for that is: Nope.

While I do think there’s something to be said for working your intuition muscle so that you can arrive at clarity a lot faster, generally speaking, there’s not much any of us can do to alter the ways in which our brains and hearts are wired.

There is nothing wrong with your process.

There is nothing wrong with the unique way you go about making decisions, or making art, or making a sandwich. That’s YOUR way. That’s the process that was sketched and carved out just for you.

And this concept doesn’t just apply to decision-making either:

If you’re a creative type and you routinely get frustrated by how much time each piece requires, there is nothing wrong with your process. You’re polishing a gem and gems take time.

If you’re in the early stages of a relationship and you want to take things more slowly (or quickly!), there is nothing wrong with your process. You’re trusting your ever-so-wise intuition.

Important caveat: All of this assumes you’re being as self-aware and attentive as possible – there’s no emotional side-stepping or avoidance going on. If, after you reflect on your process, you feel clear that this is the way that feels most organic and fluid for you, then it’s your right way. Period.

Your natural way of processing decisions happens effortlessly – even when a part of that experience is inconvenient, like my bouts of indecision.

Can you love your decision-making process? Can you appreciate that it actually… works?

Even if it sometimes creates frustrations, your natural process reflects your internal compass and clock. It has been customized just for you. It’s actually… perfect.

When we drop the incessant need to change and fix ourselves and instead choose to see our inherent traits and decision-making tendencies as the source of our genius ideas, our deepest love and our loudest laughs, well… this is authenticity at its finest.

YOU are not a problem to solve.

So what does your natural decision making process look like?

Does it take you 6 hours to do the laundry and you actually kinda like it that way? Do you write a blog post in twenty minutes and then edit it for six days because the tinkering and percolating helps you coax it into something even more solid?

Run with that. Follow that.

Own your process and let the goodness flow. @AnnikaMartins (Click to Tweet!)

Annika Martins is obsessed with dogs, kettle-cooked BBQ chips and enormous bath tubs. She’s also the creator of Meditate YOUR Way, a free collection of meditation experiments for free-thinking, spiritual seekers who are tired of meditation “rules”. Get your first experiment HERE.

Image courtesy of G.A.B.A.