“When we forgive, we free ourselves from the tie that binds us to the one who hurt us. We become LIBERATED.”
Each morning before I meditate, I go through a detailed heart-opening ritual that includes asking myself a few questions. I call this ritual “The Secrets of the SweetSpot” and an important part of the process is asking:
How can I be more accepting? More self-accepting.
How can I be more compassionate? More self-compassionate.
How can I be more forgiving? More self-forgiving.
How can I heal this heart?
We are in constant dynamic exchange with the world around us, which means our actions simultaneously touch the lives of those around us and have deeper consequences on what we feel, what we think about and what we do.
We all have made mistakes, chosen non-nourishing choices and allowed our words and actions to hurt others – and perhaps the most unintended consequence is that we’ve created pain within and around us. We’ve pointed fingers, compared ourselves to someone else, relished in Schadenfreude (rooting for someone or something to fail), pushed people away (even when we were trying to get them to come closer), gossiped, cut off our nose to spite our face, and refused to give in so we could say “I told you so!” And then there are all the grievances, grudges, resentments, comparisons, envies and gripes.
They serve no one – they fester inside – they distract our mind from feeling bliss and our heart from loving. They sour into bitterness, self-righteousness, cynicism and arrogance. And in time, these self-inflicted feelings of discomfort morph into dis-ease in our physical body and in our mind. And then ultimately, they turn into disease.
When we forgive, we free ourselves from the tie that binds us to the one who hurt us. @davidji_com (Click to Tweet!)
We become LIBERATED. Saying it, posting it on Facebook, or having an intellectual conversation with yourself does not release you from your self-imposed captivity.
Only forgiveness can help bathe away the negativity. Only forgiveness can release you from the prison of attachment and anger. Only forgiveness will bring you inner peace.
And how can we forgive others if are not willing to forgive ourselves first? How can we open our hearts to others if they are closed off to ourselves? We must open ourselves to self-compassion so that we can then be compassionate to others. If we can’t forgive ourselves, can we really authentically forgive others? If we do not believe we are worthy, how in the world could someone else be worthy?
We are all just doing our best from our own level of consciousness at the time. And if we are willing to truly make a commitment to chose another response or a more nourishing behavior the next time, then we all deserve a little forgiveness.
RIGHT NOW. Today. In this breath. You are entitled to happiness.
I’m reminded of the instructive quote by classic movie icon Marlene Dietrich: “Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.” How hard is it to not re-serve our sins to ourselves over and over? Make the commitment to awaken our most divine self by practicing self-forgiveness and then allowing that radiance of forgiveness to shine onto others.
Share this with everyone you know and watch the ripple of forgiveness heal your world.
Peace. -davidji
davidji is a certified Vedic Master and a teacher of stress management, emotional healing, and conscious choice-making. He is the author of the best-selling Secrets of Meditation: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace & Personal Transformation and the creator of the award-winning guided meditation CD Fill What is Empty; Empty What is Full. Visit davidji.com for free tools, tips, and techniques to take your practice to the next level and follow him on Facebook and Twitter.
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