Today, I’m sharing my biggest life lessons in the hope that you find something that speaks to you.

1. Your relationship with yourself is key – no man, sex, drugs, or amount of money can ever fill your true void. Nothing can fill it except you. Fill yourself up with the light of true worth, and loving and loving yourself deeply. This is key. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one, as it guides you to the kind of relationships you have with others. Love yourself up!

2. Everyone will have dark or rough times. Times that make you feel like you’re in a kind of hell. The sooner you accept that life has a death aspect to it – also known as down, depressing times and/or dark times – the sooner you will be able to ride those waves with more grace and the quicker you will be able to experience peace. It will pass, and you will be fine if you ride the wave and have faith.

3.You’re never upset for the reason you think. It’s never about the guy not calling, not being accepted by others, not getting that job. It’s always deeper. Anything that triggers us means we believe we need that to feel worthy or whole. And that is just not true! We are divine and whole and worthy without any outside validation. So we must know that with or without validation, we are worthy, whole, and divine.

4. Addictive compulsive behaviors are literally the devil. They bring out the worst in you. They lead you to some very scary places. Most of us have experienced some type of compulsive behavior, whether love addiction, sex, addiction, alcohol, drug, food, or even addiction to negative thoughts. Know that this is not you. Learn to listen to what the root of that fear and compulsive negative behavior is based in. Learn to nurture that root level fear. For example, if you fear being alone perhaps you seek compulsive relationships or drinking to fill the void. Instead of turning to bad habits, nurture yourself and challenge yourself to be alone. Soothe yourself through that fear. And join a support group to help you through the process. 12 step groups are a great resource and free or minimal donation. Addictions are there as opportunities to deepen our love within ourselves.

All obstacles are opportunities for more transformation and deeper self-love and worth. @CosmicChristine (Click to Tweet)

5. There is a deep wise voice within – the soul voice. This voice knows and will always guide you to what is the truest truth for you. Take time to connect, to tune in, and ask that voice of love and of truth, to guide you to what is true for you.

6. Earn the blessings. Don’t choose the quick fix because that never lasts. The only way to have true lasting peace is to work on what you must work on. The only way through it is through it. Have a difficult lesson in your life? Go through the pain and trust it’s there to help you not hurt you. This way you earn the blessing.

7. When you feel that anxious anxiety, sit with it. Don’t turn to booze, a one night stand with a bad guy or girl, or over eating. Don’t do anything over that anxious feeling. Sit with the feeling and feel it. It might feel awful but avoiding it will never make it better either. Learn to soothe that anxiety with love, acceptance and positive actions. The more you choose to soothe that anxiety with love the quicker you will be released of the chains of that anxiety.  

8. Self love is the most important love. This bears repeating. The more you love and accept yourself, truly take the time to be you; you will know your true needs and desires. Then you know how to better love and handle others. The relationship with you is where it all starts. Love yourself up. Choose activities that affirm your love for yourself.

9. Sisterhood is soul medicine. Find a tribe of spiritual “sisters” that support your highest version of you and rally in the name of love for all of your truest heart’s dreams to come to life. Sisterhood is medicine. I’ve seen it give wings to those who believed they couldn’t ever take flight, create or join a sisterhood.

10. Do the best you can – then have full faith that no matter what it will be all good!

xoxo,
Christine

Christine Gutierrez is a psychotherapist, advice columnist, speaker, author, poet, and founder of CosmicLife.com, an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice, articles, videos, private consultations, workshops, retreats (both live and virtual), radio appearances, and television projects. “Ancient wisdom with a modern twist” is the motto. She has been featured in TimeOut NY Magazine, Latina Magazine as “The Future 15: The Healer,” Yahoo Health, Ebony Magazine, Cosmopolitan for Latinas, The Conversation, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Ricki Lake, Lifetime TV, and more. You can also follow Christine on Twitter and Facebook.

Join Christine for her 2014 Goddess Retreat July 18-21 here. Get your free meditation Vibing With Nature here.

Image courtesy of Diana.