Dear Dad,
I remember the morning I sat on the deck watching the ocean waves crash wondering where we go when we die. I remember feeling so confused, broken, and upset. My heart felt like it had been crushed into a thousand pieces and been thrown in a million different directions. I remember that morning like yesterday. There was a gentle breeze coming up from the ocean. There was something in the breeze that reminded me of you. I remember taking a deep breath and feeling the breeze embrace me, my heart soften, and tears fall down my face.
Oh how I wished I had something to remind me of you. I was taught that true love could never be taken away — but I have to tell you — it certainly didn’t feel that way to me. In fact, it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and locked away somewhere I would never find it again. Whoever said true love could never be taken away obviously never had experienced the deep loss of their father.
I remember taking a deep breath and asking for a sign or something that would remind me of you. I could hear your voice whisper to me, “Take a breath, Beautiful. You can feel me in the breeze, can’t you?” I remember thinking that wasn’t enough, that I wanted to be able to see you. As I sat with my eyes closed, I remember hearing some buzzing close to my face. As I opened my eyes, two little hummingbirds were hovering in the air about three feet in front of me. They stayed there, watching me.
With my eyes open I remember watching those colorful little birds in front of me and how I felt inside. I felt them reminding me that everything in life changes.
It’s not about loving people and things as much as loving life itself. @intuitionheals (Click to Tweet!)
Things and people come into our lives to help prop open out Hearts a little bit more everyday. When our hearts feel like they are breaking, they are actually opening even more than ever. I remember taking a deep breath and feeling more tears stream down my face.
I remember closing my eyes and putting my hands on my chest. It felt like my heart was bleeding. I could hear you whisper, “Beautiful, you have to breathe. When you breathe you will be able to feel me. When you breathe — at first you will cry. Let yourself cry. Your tears will heal your Heart. When you breathe — you will build a bridge between both of our Hearts. There is no separation between us if you remember to breathe. I am in the breeze, I am in the birds, I am in your very Heart. Just breathe.”
Every morning for quite some time after that, I would make a cup of tea, sit on the deck, close my eyes, and deep breathe. At first I would cry with each breath like you said I would and feel like I couldn’t breathe anymore.
More mornings than not as I sat there, my two hummingbird friends would appear and check in on me — and remind me that everything comes and goes in this world — and if we remember to breathe, we will love more than most will have the courage to do.
It’s been five years today since I heard your voice call me Beautiful. In the past five years, I have learned that both good and bad, nothing lasts forever. I have learned that if I love in a moment, I will never die. When I choose to love in a moment I can feel the love we shared.
I decided to get my body tattooed with a symbol to remind me that although nothing in life lasts forever, if we have the courage to love with an open heart and remember to breathe, a bridge is created where the pain of death cannot find a place to thrive.
Love knows no such thing as space or time.
When I feel the breeze, smell the ocean, or see a hummingbird, I am reminded of the sweetness that you always offered me in the moments we shared.
When I remember to breathe, I remember to live.
When I remember to live, I remember to let my Heart fly free.
Forever in my Heart,
Robin
Robin Lee is a medical intuitive, author, mentor, gratitude advocate, and speaker who has helped thousands of people around the world understand the language of their bodies. Robin believes that our bodies innately know how to balance and heal themselves if given proper care and support. Visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter, where she shares tips, tools, and techniques to honor our bodies and heal our lives!
