What if you believed that everything in your life was happening for your greater good? That you couldn’t go wrong? That even in the face of adversity, the universe was conspiring in your favor?
This doesn’t mean that we experience instant gratification. That is just a temporary feel-good. And it doesn’t mean that we eventually get everything that we think we want in this moment. That tends to require settling for a smaller version of our life’s ultimate purpose.
This is what I mean: Things always make sense in hindsight. When we look back on our lives, we can see that we went through the exact challenges that were necessary to allow growth in the precise way that we most needed it. Our personal struggles led us exactly where we really wanted to go but didn’t know it at the time.
Can you remember that boy or girl you liked way back when? You know, the one that you desperately wanted to like you back? You saw your life 100 years into the future and you were heart broken when it didn’t work out.
Aren’t you glad that it didn’t?
We thought that we wanted that boy or girl to like us, but what we got was more self-esteem, better friendships, resilience, creativity, career aspirations, or we moved to another town that they never would have moved to and had experiences that were much bigger than that relationship would have afforded. And then we met another boy or girl whom we never would have met if we had been sidetracked by “I want what I want, when I want it.”
So, everything in your life really is happening for your greater good. Our problem is that we forget this in the midst of pain. We forget this in the midst of wanting what we think we want in this moment. We forget this when we can’t see evidence of it.
But we do have evidence! Just look at your own past. Write a list of all the ways you are grateful that your life didn’t work out the way you had planned or hoped. Then write a list of everything you are grateful for that you never even knew you wanted but have today. Allow these lists to be the springboard that you need to cultivate more faith in this very same process right now.
Pretty extraordinary, right? If not, keep writing and the lists will get bigger—I promise.
And here’s the other good news. This all means that not only is the universe conspiring in your favor—but you are too! Look back at your lists. Remember how you beat yourself up because you “did something wrong,” or you “weren’t good enough?” You’ve judged your process every step of the way and in hindsight it just wasn’t true. It isn’t true now either. You aren’t doing anything wrong. You are more than good enough. But we can’t see the big picture. We can’t see all that lies ahead that will eventually make it clear that we were on the right path. And for some reason, we can’t remember that this is the perpetual process of life. But we can give ourselves reminders.
I’m fond of sticky notes on the bathroom mirror or screen savers on your cell phone. Take this opportunity to write yourself little love notes to read everyday. Little reminders that you are on the right track, even when you can’t see it.
“Trust Your Process”
“It’s all good, even though it feels bad”
“You are going Exactly where you are meant to go”
“Despite evidence to the contrary, the universe IS conspiring in your favor”
When they become part of the wallpaper, it’s time to write some new ones.
I hope that you have a fantastic day, knowing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and that everything is unfolding precisely for your greater good.
I welcome your comments on how you stay connected to trusting your process, examples of your own reminders that you are on track, and stories of how you ended up exactly where you were supposed to be even though you thought you wanted to be somewhere else.
Ingrid Mathieu, PhD is a psychotherapist and author of Recovering Spirituality. You can connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.
