Being single can really suck. Especially when you don’t want to be single and especially on holidays. But what if I told you that there is really only one thing that is causing you to suffer over your relationship status AND that you could shift it in an instant?
Here is the truth about what causes 100% of the suffering over being single: the belief that being with someone else would be better.
Really? How do you even know that’s true? Whether that someone is an ex, someone you are currently obsessed with, or the fantasy of a future someone; your belief that when he or she comes along then your life will be better is what is torturing you.
Here is the good news: in reality all is well. There is nothing wrong with you. You are totally lovable and you are surrounded by love. You are not alone. You’ve just lost sight of how amazing you are because you are so busy looking around for someone else. The fantasy of a future relationship is at the root of your suffering which is FANTASTIC. Why? Well because:
You can’t change reality but you can shift your experience of it. @ChristinHassler
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If you want to change your experience of being single, you have to change how you perceive it.
The spiritual definition of a miracle is a change in perception. Are you ready for a miracle? Now I know the miracle you may be praying for is that your soulmate shows up and you can run off toward “happily ever after” together. However, praying for that miracle is reinforcing your suffering because the thought that precedes it is rooted in when/then belief.
So if you are ready for a miracle right NOW pray for freedom from your suffering over being single. Pray to trust Divine Timing. Pray to grow in your awareness of love everyday. Pray to be the fullest expression of your Highest Self. Pray for support in removing any walls around your heart. Pray to experience more acceptance and compassion. Pray for the courage and opportunity to share your gifts more fully. Pray for a deeper connection with the Uni-verse. Pray to see your life the way the Uni-verse sees it. And then start living a FULL life.
I notice that so many single people (especially women) take on the belief that they are somehow incomplete and live their life like they are in limbo. They expend a lot of energy looking for the next one and waiting to do things they want to do until they are in their next relationship. Living an “in between” mindset is preventing you from enjoying your life at its full capacity!
It is wonderful to have an intention to be in a loving, healthy partnership. Romantic relationships are amazing because they present so many opportunities to grow in our learning and our loving. AND not being in a romantic relationship is a gift because it offers you the opportunity to deepen the most important relationship you will ever have: the one with yourself. If you choose right now to give up the belief that being with someone else would be better, you will immediately begin shifting your experience of singlehood. Be willing to look at your past relationships, starting with your parents, and examine the patterns and hurts that may still be lingering around. Commit to doing the work to break the patterns, heal the hurts and update your stories about love. And then start having a fabulous relationship with YOU (and I’m not talking about the “Sex and the City” kind of single and fabulous where you drink martini’s, trash talk about dating and boasting about how you don’t need anyone).
It’s time to remove the scarlet “S” from your chest.
It’s time to stop buying into the idea that your life would be better if you were in a romantic relationship.
It’s time to stop living in limbo.
It’s time to stop judging yourself as incomplete or unworthy.
It’s time to stop draining your energy by constantly looking around for someone else.
Your relationship status does not define you and it absolutely should not impact the amount of love you feel.
Now I know this may seem easier said than done. You know that loving yourself and accepting your life as it is would relieve a lot of suffering. But moving from an awareness of self-love as a concept to truly integrating it as an experience often takes some guidance.
You do not have to suffer over being single. I promise. Take the first step today by refusing to buy into the lie that life would be better if you were with someone and see the Truth of how amazing your life becomes when you are truly with YOU.
Love,
Christine
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of Vladimir Pustovit.
